weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
