The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
