when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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