NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My bed smells like the plague
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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