The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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