lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize