She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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