I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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