Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
