my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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