I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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