All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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