Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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