My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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