Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Randomize
