happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
