Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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