You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
