These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
