the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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