and next time when you feel me up, do it right
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Boobs speak an international language.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
