He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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