i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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