i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
