Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
