i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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