someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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