Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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