Small penises have feelings too.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
