Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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