Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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