hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
