we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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