He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i think my cat just said my name.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
