Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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