Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
