Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
