dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
