I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize