the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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