that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
nutella sex= disaster
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
