You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"