Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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