are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
