i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize