Non-Jews are for practice
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
