while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i've created a new STD.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
