basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
