that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can't turn off my feet"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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