I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize