we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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