the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
