I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
