Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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