I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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