Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
