A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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